THE IN-BETWEEN MOMENTS

Does the beauty of life truly happen in the In-Between Moments? I’d like to think so. The more I take stock of my days and reflect on weeks passed, I am always reminded of the moments that lie in-between our daily routines. I’m trying to remember if I look at these moments as boredom or as moments peace and connection.  

The In-Between Moments are the unintended moments of downtime we sometimes find ourselves in. That unexpected sigh of relief. They are almost always spontaneous but can also be moments where we relax (if we let them be). Like waiting for a late train, being stuck in traffic, or having to kill time with a friend because your flight is delayed. Often these moments are unplanned and can be seen as uncomfortable do to the forced moment of calm, but in reality, these are the most opportune times to reflect and connect. They give us space and time to be mindful. These moments allow us to experience deep presence and joy. 

Alone or with others, these are the moments where the magic happens. These are the moments where there is no pressure, where there is absence of agenda or expectation. Moments where we can relax and be ourselves with less judgement and more connection. Moments where we don't have to entertain, or force connection. Moments where we embrace our uneasiness or just simply exist. Opportunities where we can develop mindfulness and organically find ourselves in profound conversations (with ourselves or others).

In today’s culture, our phones, our schedules and life's daily demands have robbed us of these magical in-between moments. They have become so few and far between, that we almost don’t know we are having them. We clutch our phones as security blankets, numb ourselves with music, binge Netflix and pack our social calendars. We do anything to evade the silence and the stillness. Instead of allowing these in-between moments to unfold, we block them with distractions. We scroll, we listen, we watch, we schedule, we plan, we plot. We ‘need more’, we achieve more, and we need to get ahead. Then to recharge from the burnout, we hide and retreat. In trying to ‘grow’ we have created agendas and expectations that have done nothing but deplete us. We are forced to disconnect in order to recover.

And when we truly allow ourselves to disconnect, do we embrace the stillness? Can we immerse ourselves in it? Are we able to sit still with our thoughts? Do we allow ourselves to just ‘be bored,’ or ‘let our minds wander’? It almost seems like we think it's wrong to let our minds wander. But whats wrong with a wandering mind? Are we afraid of asking ourselves the deep and soulful questions that should and may need to be asked? Are we afraid of being judged?

We seem to be hiding from truly connecting to ourselves and each other on a deeper level. But does that encourage growth? Have we unlearned that true connection is what nourishes us? We avoid being vulnerable. We are satisfied by peripheral interactions through surface talk and quick connections. Perhaps this is why, amidst our busy schedules and packed social calendars, we still tend to feel lonely or lost? Despite our ambitions, achievements and friendships we still feel empty.

I feel that embracing and leaning into the In-Between Moments are the key to building strong relationships with ourselves and our communities. These are the times we are most in tune with our surroundings and nature. These are the moments when conversations feel natural and nourishing. In these moments we become our most intuitive, so, we are able to cultivate a strong sense of self. When find ourselves able to be fully relaxed, and authentically true to ourselves and each other, we form friendships and partnerships that have depth and support. We gravitate towards the authenticity of the moment. As humans, I think we crave it.

As you go through your days, I hope you are able to catch and enjoy the miracle in the in-between moments. I hope you choose to put your phone down more, be fully open when trying new things, be vulnerable within your relationships with others. I hope you move slowly and mindfully, with deep awareness and gratitude of the present moment. Otherwise, what else is there? What we must realize is that these magical in-between moments are precisely when and where we as humans grow.

Thank you for reading!

Rubina